It seems like my 100th post has been a long time coming. It doesn't help that this past week or so has left my mind full of thoughts, my heart full of emotions, and my body physically tired.
It never ceases to amaze me, at least in looking back, how present and majestic the Lord is. We not only can see it in the lives of biblical characters, but I am under the impression that He is evidently at work today in our hearts and lives.
Last Wednesday morning, US time, one of my grandmas passed on to heaven to be with the Lord.
Grandma Bonnie and I shared a love for music (specifically worship and "Sixteen Going on Seventeen"), international friends learning English (ESL), Chicken Divan, and most importantly, Jesus. Through her fight with cancer, she continuously found her strength and comfort in the Lord above from whom comes everything we truly need.
I came in to my house after just finishing a conversation with a new friend about how thankful I am to have an external hope, a God who I can look to in the midst of the awful things of this world. After coming in and seeing a message from my mom, I called home and found out about my grandma's passing.
In the connection of these two conversations was a question for me: Do I really believe what I said? Do I really believe I have an external hope - an omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent God in whom I can trust?
Death is never a bad thing for a believer in Jesus...it's only difficult for those who are left behind, even for those who do indeed trust in God but dearly love those who pass on before them.
I ended that night with preparing some worship for a meeting I had the next morning. Through tears I listened to several songs that God used to touch my heart - of the pain of this world, the plea for Jesus to come, the worthiness of the Lord to be praised, and the amazing hope found in Christ alone. There is much comfort to be found through the Holy Spirit's touch while worshiping the Lord amidst pain and sadness. His grace is sufficient.
As I continue with my life here is Spain, I am comforted by the fact that Jesus is enough. The tears still come, but I know without a doubt that my grandma is in a much better place with no pain or sorrow. As He wipes away her tears, He can wipe away mine here on earth too.
Even when I struggle to believe it, Jesus is enough. He is our All in All.
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