Satisfaction in the Holiday Season

I can't believe that this semester has already come to an end...that Christmas is upon us. Wow.

I absolutely love Christmas. Many times this is for all of the more superficial reasons - music, lights, cookies, gifts, fun. Underneath these though one can often find smiles, joy, laughter. It seems that this time of the year can be a time of celebration, even though for so many it is marked with sadness, sorrow, and grief. Often a small glimmer of hope is born.

Tonight though I am reminded that Christmas fun, tradition, or spirit can never truly satisfy. It can be incredible, but it's not enough...nothing in this world is. 

So may this time of joy, fun, laughter, and gifts cause us to draw our eyes up to our Savior who looks down with love and compassion, "arms wide open, heart exposed." In this light we can look to live authentically and love well.  

He is the Reason for the season. 

(Borrowed lyrics from Misty Edward's song "Arms Wide Open")

Prayers for a Friend

A broken heart, tear-filled eyes,

     A mother’s empty arms.

Defined lines, a weary smile,
     A friend so far away.

The questions start, the cascades fall,

     The pain so evident.

Shoulders bent, grievous prayers,

     Sorrow for a dear Friend.  

The Ball's Still Rollin'

I don't know why suffering happens. Of course there are moments that Jesus gives me a glimpse into the purpose or the why of something. I'm not entitled to it though. Most of the time if I did "know" I probably wouldn't understand or would disagree in my ignorance or would think I knew better than God. I can't understand His glory, or many other quandaries for that matter.

What I do know is that suffering exists. It touches everyone, directly and indirectly. It brings grief and tears and questions. 

Often in my suffering, which is minor comparatively but still real and seen by Jesus, I lose control...and control is something I tend to love. I can either rock to and fro as a wave or reach up in dependence. 

Tonight I was again reminded that this world is not secure. There are a lot of terrible things. Thankfully it's not taking me deep into darkness now though. 

Jesus is my hope. He is the light I see shining in others around me. He is our Treasure who can relate (unto the point of death). He is our Protector, Sustainer, Guide, and Friend - at least when we let him. 

The Goodness of the Lord

Ever since my sister was in preschool my family has carried on the tradition of starting family meals (those consumed in our house) with a simple song of thanks as an intro into prayer. It goes like this:

"Oh the Lord is good to me, and so I thank the Lord for giving me the things I need like the sun and the rain and the appleseed. The Lord is good to me (and my family)."

This afternoon as we sat down to lunch, it occurred to me the irony in living out something we don't always believe at the time. For instance, I may not believe rejecting sin is in my best interest in the moment. Today it struck me as we sung the words to this little childhood song. 

We can always mindlessly say or do something. I suppose it's the Lord's grace revealed when we see our words are not demonstrating the feeling of our heart. Whether I feel like God is good is not the final say. He is. That's it. Yasta, as we would say in Spanish. 

In conjunction with this I was reminded of a Bible study in Spain where at least twice we set aside a time to read Psalm 136 and reflect. We would read the passage. Then we would recount what God had done in our loves and midst and repeat together, "...for His steadfast love endures forever." 

As I re-read this passage tonight, I saw the rub between what we might see as good with our human eyes and what is actually the goodness of the Lord. But God was in it for His people and for His glory. Needless to say, we do see that the people whom He loved and had chosen were in captivity. Would we be tempted to doubt His goodness in the face of a trial and/or refining such as this? My hand is raised in accord. 

Jesus didn't promise an absence of suffering. In fact, it almost seems that Christians are assured of its presence. As a friend pointed out to me, God notices and cares for even the sparrow...but nevertheless the sparrow still falls. We aren't promised ease, but we are promised comfort, security, joy, love. When we can't see or grab hold of these in the moment, we can hope as we believe in faith.

All this to say, as we were singing earlier, the thought of God's goodness seemed a little hard to believe. In the moment. 

But God's grace is sufficient. He died for us when we did not believe, and He loves to blow our expectations with His goodness and greatness. He graciously shows us our faulty thinking. More often than not it is unexpected and redefines our idea or definition. 

Rest assured in the truth though: He is good. His love endures forever. 

No matter what we are feeling, may His grace allow us to continually offer up genuine thanks. 

First Week Down

After taking off across the world, I wouldn't have known what difficulty awaited in moving back to school. Several months ago as I dreaded the leaving of and going to, I imagined such difficulty. Thankfully then the Lord gave me a little perspective that softened my heart to the idea. I don't remember exactly what I was reading at the time, but I believe it was in Isaiah. He reminded me that Jesus saw the difficulty that was ahead, and He chose to say yes. Sacrifice and surrender aren't easy; often these go against our flesh and require the Holy Spirit's divine softening and some guts. They take dependence. 

I just finished up a hard week that involved grieving, sadness, and tears mixed with joy, laughter, and love. I loved Spain. I had come to feel settled there, and then inevitably it was time to say goodbye. After spending a couple of months back home, it was time for yet more goodbyes. When I left for school last weekend it felt almost like I was grieving two losses: home and Spain. Again. 

All of that considered, combined with feeling out of place and without a community, it made for an emotional roller coaster type of week. I didn't realize how greatly I was blessed with a quick and deep community abroad and adversely how much I miss its absence. 

This is a time for me to decide if I really do believe Jesus - if I believe His love, His goodness, His faithfulness. It's a time to depend in the waiting. It's a time to hold out open hands, letting go and resting in my weakness. I am needy. And Jesus knows it and loves me deeply. He can minister where it's needed. 

Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief. 

Some of the highlights of this week have been reuniting with old friends, growing connections with some new ones, breaking out the Spanish, talking with a dear friend still in Spain, and seeking out whom God is calling me to specifically love this year. Oh, and starting a new job. 

Another aspect of this week was encoutering my flesh. Sin isn't easy to bear with inside of ourselves or in another. Sometimes it seems ironic that what bothers us about others is often something we struggle with ourselves. Pride is an ugly thing, and I don't believe anyone really likes it. I know in my heart it causes a rift between me and God and places an unapproachability around me to others. 

C.S. Lewis said, "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” Sadly pride had a place in my heart this week, and unfortunately it too often does. Lewis also speaks about how pride and competition are directly related. For instance, if I wasn't so concerned about looking like I have everything together, maybe I could hear Jesus calling. Maybe I could see with His eyes. Maybe love could win. 

In my pride I can't see Jesus. I would wager to say at the same time I can't see people as Jesus sees them. I need humility so that my nose isn't stuck up in the air, drawing my eyes to the only thing visible: myself. 

I desire to be a real and true person who is changed by Jesus from the inside out. I want to be a lover of God who can't help but share the love that she has been so freely given. May I be found resting in His unconditional fountain of redeeming love so that sin might reign no more in my mortal body. 

One Little, Blue Lizard

Tonight marked my final service as stand-in "worship leader" at our church here in Granada. Wow...how time flies. 

I'm so thankful for the Lord's blessing me with this opportunity to trust Him, learn more Spanish, and serve with so many gifted and encouraging friends. This experience has put a seed in my heart to bring some Spanish worship to our HLG chapel services. Vamos a ver.

So tonight, as I'm leading worship, I look to the back and see three faces that have become a daily sight in my life here in Granada, actually the family (minus Kassie and Jairus) who encouraged this whole thing: Brian, Malaki, and Cora. 

Earlier this week I had gifted the three kids some small, toy lizards from the beach. Tonight during worship, one surfaced. 

Malaki stood on a chair in the back row, waving his blue lizard back and forth over the heads of others in the congregation. What joy it brought to my heart to see him treasuring this gift and being so excited to make it obvious to me.

Then I began to wonder...how do I respond when my Heavenly Father gives me gifts? Do I give Him the credit? Do I bring a smile to His face with my excitement (even internally)? Do I even notice where His fingerprints are at work?

This little, joyful five-year-old gave me a visible picture of one facet of having childlike faith: uncontainable joy. 

I want to have a child-like spirit that jumps up and down at what her Father is doing, to be more dependent, to live unjaded in this world because I know my Heavenly Father has the whole world in His hands. 

This isn't easy. My natural inclinations are to hold back, trust slowly, be independent, lower expectations, over focus on the bad things. 

I want the faith to step out and ask the impossible. I want to know more of what's on my Father's heart. I desire to pray those things. I want to be filled with joy at the knowledge that there is a loving God that loved me enough to die for me. He has adopted me into His family, made me an heir with His perfect Son, and now I share in His inheritance. 

I can come boldly to the throne of grace.

"God, pull my heart to Yours. Help me to trust You, clinging in the good and bad, knowing that You are working out everything for good. Make me dependent on You; give me Your joy. Give me a childlike heart as my eyes look to You. It's because of Jesus that I'm able to be with You." 

Leaving it in the Pictures' Hands

I don't feel like I'm at a place where I can write much right now, but I thought a few pictures would be fun.

Bridal shower, anyone?  

Ready for a picnic.

Just a little cultural experience: horses, flamenco dresses, you know...

Soakin' up the sun!

I'm so thankful for the friends, roommates, and other amazing people God has placed in my path, heart, and life here in Spain.  He has blessed me way more than I ever could have imagined, and I couldn't ask for anything better.

I'm really gonna miss y'all.

Tribute to the HLGU Class of 2013

In just a couple of hours, many of the students with whom I entered HLG will have graduated.  

How fast time flies.

As difficult as it was to "let go" of what would have been my last year of school, now I have a little more clarity.  I wouldn't take back the times of laughter, difficulty, fun, growth, friendship, and memories my first three years entailed with my friends and those who are "soon-to-be" alumni.  I also wouldn't take back this year here is Spain.  I am confident those crossing the stage today are where they should be, as am I.

To those of you who are "heading off to the real world" now, congratulations!!  I am certain that the Lord has touched your lives while attending HLG, whether you were looking for it or not.  No matter where you are in that journey right now, I know He will continue the work that He has begun.  

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Even though most of the time we don't know what God is doing until farther down the road, He is at work.  I look forward to seeing and hearing His continued purpose and glory being worked out in many of your lives. 

Missing being with you all today - and thanking the Lord for you.  

May Jesus be the center of who we are and all we do.

Besos from Spain!!

Blast from the Past

This Christmas when I visited Alicia in the North of Spain, I got the opportunity to scan her bookshelves and borrow a few adolescent novels.  I know it sounds pretty ridiculous...but, you start where you can, right?  J

One of the books I borrowed was Pippi Longstocking (or Pippi Calzaslargas, as it's called in Spanish).  I had started the book during holiday siestas at her house, but sadly I had only arrived at the first few chapters before today.  Since my nanny job is on hold for a little bit, I have more time to devote to different things - in this case being language study.

This afternoon I was able to read about half the book out loud (but quietly enough as not to disturb my flatmates..ha, ha) and finished it this evening!!  It definitely brought to mind the movie I saw so long ago - red braids, little monkey, and all.  

I know it can seem perhaps trivial, but for me it's a big deal.  I was thinking back to my high school Spanish classes where I only remember "reading" parts of Don Quijote and The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, as well as some short stories.  "Reading" because it was more akin to work: looking up every word, translating, conjugating...thinking, thinking, thinking.

This book, at least what I read today, I was able to just read (though not to imply that I understood every word).  It was pretty great!  God is good all the time.

Tonight I'm going to bed encouraged, as well as estimating just how long my next juvenile book might take.  J 

And with some anticipated chagrin, I will show you why this book might have hit even closer to home...

P.S.  In case you were wondering, no, I don't dress like this everyday.  

Halloween my junior year of college?  Perhaps.  

Surrender to Forgiveness: Our Own and Others

"Why can’t I just let go of my selfish pride?

Why can’t I lose control and stand by Your side?

When I turn within I’m just consumed with my sin, My eyes must remain fixed on You.

Redeem me, LORD;

Oh, be gracious.

Take my heart, make it Yours,

Help me to surrender. 

When my eyes look to You instead of on me, I’m not consumed anymore.

You will pluck my feet out of the net, all sin and shame You’ll transform. 

So help me look to You – the Author, Perfector – Forward, not behind. 

Redeem me, LORD;

Oh, be gracious. 

Take my heart, make it Yours,

Help me to surrender.

You see the depths and You love me the same,

Even when I turn to live in my shame. 

Jesus, You died to make the broken whole.

So here am I, please change me;

How I need You more and more.  

Redeem me, LORD;

Oh, be gracious. 

Take my heart, make it Yours,

Help me to surrender."

This is a song the Lord gave me when being confronted with my sin.  He is gracious to show us our sin, but graciously contrasted with His immense pursuit of restoration.  This morning as I was dwelling on forgiveness, both towards others and God's forgiveness towards me, this seemed quite appropriate.  

God sees everything of me; I'm much worse than I think I am.  Because of His grace, His mercy, His forgiveness, I can turn and offer these to those around me.  I need help to surrender to the Lord so that I can offer forgiveness - so that I can release the feeling of others deserving justice.  

I don't want justice for myself from the Lord.  I need not want it for others either.  

May my eyes stay on Christ so that I can remember how much I've been forgiven and how much I'm called to forgive.  The Lord is my strength and my righteousness.  

In the Midst of Pain and Joy

It seems like my 100th post has been a long time coming.  It doesn't help that this past week or so has left my mind full of thoughts, my heart full of emotions, and my body physically tired.

It never ceases to amaze me, at least in looking back, how present and majestic the Lord is.  We not only can see it in the lives of biblical characters, but I am under the impression that He is evidently at work today in our hearts and lives.

Last Wednesday morning, US time, one of my grandmas passed on to heaven to be with the Lord.

Grandma Bonnie and I shared a love for music (specifically worship and "Sixteen Going on Seventeen"), international friends learning English (ESL), Chicken Divan, and most importantly, Jesus.  Through her fight with cancer, she continuously found her strength and comfort in the Lord above from whom comes everything we truly need.

I came in to my house after just finishing a conversation with a new friend about how thankful I am to have an external hope, a God who I can look to in the midst of the awful things of this world.  After coming in and seeing a message from my mom, I called home and found out about my grandma's passing.

In the connection of these two conversations was a question for me: Do I really believe what I said?  Do I really believe I have an external hope - an omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent God in whom I can trust?

Death is never a bad thing for a believer in Jesus...it's only difficult for those who are left behind, even for those who do indeed trust in God but dearly love those who pass on before them.

I ended that night with preparing some worship for a meeting I had the next morning.  Through tears I listened to several songs that God used to touch my heart - of the pain of this world, the plea for Jesus to come, the worthiness of the Lord to be praised, and the amazing hope found in Christ alone.  There is much comfort to be found through the Holy Spirit's touch while worshiping the Lord amidst pain and sadness.  His grace is sufficient.

As I continue with my life here is Spain, I am comforted by the fact that Jesus is enough.  The tears still come, but I know without a doubt that my grandma is in a much better place with no pain or sorrow.  As He wipes away her tears, He can wipe away mine here on earth too.

Even when I struggle to believe it, Jesus is enough.  He is our All in All.  

Cats, Dogs, and Rainbows

There were some crazy things that I believed as a kid....for example:

All cats are girls, and all dogs are boys. Hmmm.

Then there was my confusion about how one could literally walk from rain to not rain within a step.  How could it be true that there was a line marking the edge of rainfall?

One of the things that continues to get me even today is how it can be incredibly sunny, yet rain at the same time.  During a few hours this morning there was an almost unbelievable mix of rain, clouds, blue sky, side-pelting rain, cold, and wind.

As I walked home a few minutes ago though, I was walking through more typical Spanish sun - to the extent of feeling hot - while the steady rain came down around my umbrella.  It just blows my mind.

During my walk I got stopped by a red light and proceeded to look around, where I saw God's gift of a beautiful, full rainbow spreading from behind the climbing rows of distant houses.  My second in two days!!

All of this filled my mind as I trekked home, with a smile and a laugh.

And just to reminisce, a blast from the past: Niagara Falls (2008).

What a Glorious Day

Easter Sunday was an especially glorious day at my church in Granada, Spain.  

Flowers.  Baptisms.  Celebration.  Joy.  Resurrection.  

"For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised.  And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins" (1 Corinthians 15:16-17, emphasis added).

Jesus died a terrible death on the cross, taking on Himself the sins of all the world, cut off from communion with the Father...and we put Him there.   

Like the verses say, if that was the end, we have no hope.  Paul continues on to say that if there is no resurrection, we are to be the most pitied - our faith comes to nothing!  It is only a temporary hope that cannot hold up when faced by death.  

The celebration of Easter holds within its grasp this idea of mourning the death of Christ, but it is shortly overcome.  The grave could not hold Jesus down.  HE IS RISEN!!  This is the hope that followers share.  

Jesus is alive.  

His resurrection is the foundation of our hope, joy, freedom, life.  Because He died and rose again, we are new creations with a reason to live on this earth.  With our eyes on the Lord, who has conquered sin once and for all, we await His supreme reign in the better world to come.  

The Sunday service was full of people, hearing the news of that glorious day, tasting a piece of the eternal worship and communion that is to come.  "...so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father" (Philippians 2:10-11). 

What a day that will be.  All through one Spirit - to the glory of God our Father - praising the name of Jesus.  

What about Palm Branches??

Although I took this picture in Morocco, it will suffice.  Whenever I read or heard the Easter story growing up, I always heard "...and they waved palm branches."  I even remember being in an Easter pageant at my church one year, and I am fairly certain that I took part in the waving of branches before the King.  

But again may I say, the people waved palm branches before Jesus as He entered Jerusalem.  

"So they took branches of palm trees and went out to meet Him, crying out, 'Hosanna!  Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord, even the King of Israel!'" (John 12:13).

Never in my life had I put together two and two: palm branches come from palm trees.  Now obviously I have not only seen pictures of palm trees, but had even seen them in real life before coming to Spain.  I just never imagined these long, heavy, in my mind "Hawaiian" tree branches as the beckoning welcome of my Savior days before His death on the cross.  Now I know that palm trees exist in the Mediterranean...because I moved here.  Now my mental image of Jesus' entry can be a bit more biblical because of my experience.   

Our pastor this Sunday, "Domingo de Ramos," spoke on Jesus' Jerusalem entry on a donkey - a fulfillment of prophecy and a sign of peace and justice.  He shared the Hebrew significance of the word "Hosanna," meaning "Please save us."  The people wanted a military king, an earthly salvation, but God had something with far greater repercussions in plan.

As I think about Easter week, I want their plea to be more of my own, but in a different sense than a cry for physical deliverance.  Maybe even palm trees will carry a different significance for me in the future - at least I can hope.  Perhaps they will point me towards the cross with a prayer.

"Lord, please save me; continue this process that you have begun.  I know that Your plan and Your thoughts far exceed my own - I am shortsighted.  Help me to share the hope that I've been given in Jesus so that others might also partake in true life through the One who gave it all."      

Thoughts from 1 Corinthians, Part 2: Memories and a Vision

As I mentioned earlier, along with thoughts of unity and theology, the Lord was reminding me of my past and also what I desire the Lord to do in the near future.  

The beginning of 1 Corinthians has a strong focus on the gospel, or mystery of Christ, and how the Lord moves in hearts to reveal the truth.  I encourage you to read the first four chapters, but I am going to attempt to share some of my basic thoughts.  

First though, a story.  At the beginning of my senior year of high school, my class took a mission trip to Toronto, Canada.  I went with high ambitions of what the Lord was going to do through me, how I was going to "accomplish things" for God.  I even remember saying to myself, if not to others as well, that I was going to walk up to a prostitute and share the love of God with her.  How naive I was.  Often I am have very optimistic goals, and many in my life have been gracious to not crush them - even while knowing they are perhaps too ambitious.   

One night in Toronto a group of us, students and teachers, were walking through a park.  Across the street we spotted a prostitute waiting on the street, and all I could do was cry.  I was at a loss - experiencing some of the compassion of the Lord for this woman while having no words to say to anyone.  

Another day we had to team up and go into the business district for street evangelism.  I seriously believe that was on of the hardest things I have ever had to do.  One of my classmates, Danny, and I walked around to different people, ditching the survey, and just trying to talk with people about the Lord.  I specifically remember a conversation with a man, perhaps in his 30's, who turned on us with questions as to how 18-year-old kids knew what they believed, etc. and an encounter with a lady working at a hot dog or gyro stand.  I was overwhelmed, discouraged, and exhausted.     

Later that trip the Lord allowed me and some classmates to pray with a man in a nursing home, Edgar I believe, who wanted to become a child of God.  Even in that instance, I misunderstood and told him I couldn't pray for him.  Can you even imagine?  Ha.  The Lord's grace is so sufficient.

I remember three particular times of tears during that trip, the first when catching sight of the prostitute, the second with Edgar, and the third during a time of late-night, rooftop worship - being overcome with my inability and the Lord's goodness.  I cannot save people.  It is the power of the cross, the Lord's kindness, that brings us to repentance.  

How are we to share the good news with people?  I still often struggle with feeling like I am incapable, too young, too unable to relate, etc.  The thing to remember though is that we cannot make the change in other people.  It's both humbling and kinda frustrating at the same time.  In reality though, it's great that changing hearts does not fall to our responsibility.  God is the best one for the job.  

1 Corinthians 1:26-31 reads, "For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.  But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.  And because of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

Instead of seeking to know everything and get to the point where we don't need to depend, instead perhaps we should be admitting our weakness, our foolishness, our inability - on the flip side, boasting in the Lord.  God often chooses to use those who the world thinks are not strong, wise, or noble.  We can see this through Him using kids and teenagers to move in hearts.  We can see this through God using us.  

We are weak.  We don't have it all together.  We have needs.  We desperately need to depend on God, although we are pretty good at looking to ourselves.  My memories are a good reminder to me of my need for the Lord and my inability to change people in my strength or even my desires.

Taking this to heart as I look to the future, I am excited about seeing the Lord move in the lives of students at my school.  I am filled with awe at the possibilities and humbled by the reminder that I can't change anyone.  I want to surrender to the Lord, daily, and ask Him to speak through me - the weak, the foolish, the hopeful. 

"For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God" (1:18).

Thoughts from I Corinthians, Part 1: Unity and Theology

This morning as I was reading in 1 Corinthians, the Lord was bringing to mind memories of the past and adversely more of a vision for what I would like to see Him do in the future.  It's getting me excited!!

That will be in my next entry though.  Before I get to that, another thing seemed to come up among the first few chapters of this book.  I don't fully understand all that Paul is getting at, but unity is very clear.  Not only does this unity cover one church family, or even one city.  He says of the church in Corinth, "...called to be saints together with all those who in every place call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, both their Lord and ours" (1:2, emphasis added).

We, as believers in Christ, are called to be united (i.e. overcoming division) with all believers.  Seem impossible?  Without God, inevitably so.  As I hear more about the desire for unification between Protestant and Catholic believers here in Granada though, it increases my hope in Jesus for this type of unity.  

My last comment on that subject has to do with theology and the way we tend to cling to certain theologians and promote them, at times, perhaps above Christ.  Paul elaborates significantly how the Corinthian church was claiming to follow Paul, or Apollos, or Cephas, or Christ.  He goes on to say, "What then is Apollos?  What is Paul?  Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each.  I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth.  So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.  He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor.  For we are God's fellow workers.  You are God's field, God's building" (3:5-9).

It seems that Paul always places the importance on Jesus.  Often I think we get caught up in the idea of following John Calvin, Jacobus Arminius, John Piper, Dr. Mohler, Mike Bickle, etc.  Maybe we even want people to be exactly like us.  In the end, we are not going to completely agree theologically with many, perhaps even one person.  The way the Lord has worked in and grown each of us is uniquely different, and this appears to draw us to different conclusions at different times.  At least in my own life, my theology has changed throughout years of studying the Bible, hearing the Word preached, classes, and experience.

The most important thing is that we believe Jesus is the only way to the Father.  I believe scripturally, by Jesus words in fact, this is non-negotiable (John 14:6).  There are other things that fall into this category, but instead of arguing and blowing secondary things out of proportion, perhaps we should pray for unification in the primary.  The Lord is at work in many peoples, some of it we are more comfortable with or agree more with than others, but we cannot deny the fact that HE IS AT WORK.

May we pursue the power of God through the work of the cross in our lives and in the lives of others.

Leaving the Ninety-Nine to Find the One

I spent an enjoyable weekend a few miles north of Malaga, overlooking the city when the sky was clear.  What we thought was close to the beach actually ended up a 30-minute drive up the curvy mountain roads, but it also entailed a rustic house, home-cooked meals (including rabbit and mushroom pie), and that "out in the middle of nowhere" feel I have come to enjoy so much.  As I stepped out of the car into the gorgeous afternoon breeze, I was set back into past memories.  There is something so inviting about that weather and feel.

I went up with some friends, having signed up to do childcare for a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old.  As I held the 1-year-old's hand along the dirt road, she kept veering closer to the drop-off.  Perhaps it was the tiny yellow flowers or the grass that measured close to her height that held the intrigue, but I definitely had to be on my guard.

Of course she had no idea of the impending danger.  It reminded me of the biblical idea of us being sheep and the Lord as our shepherd.  How constantly we "veer towards the edge," drawing nearer and nearer to the intrigue that brings with it pain, or even death.  The Lord's hand is strong though, and His faithfulness even stronger, pulling us back towards Himself.

We may think that comfort, security, power, acceptance, even love, are to be sought after and worth our time and effort.  We see those pretty flowers or want to be hidden in the height of the grass, but that is not where we will be the most safe.

Our safety is within the arms of our Creator, who has promised to never leave us or forsake us, who holds us in the palm of His hand.  We are like sheep who wander astray, not even sensing the danger that is off the path.

Thankfully God's children have a heavenly Father who wants the best for them and is looking ahead when we don't have sense enough to do so.  We are in need of a protector, a guiding staff, a gentle rod.

"Thank you, Father, for pulling us back to Yourself.  Thank You for being our guide and for picking us up when we are wandering, scared, and hurt.  Thank You for saving us from our own foolishness.  Thanks for leaving the ninety-nine to find the one."

Offering up Our Eyes

My head full of thoughts, but then again running mindlessly at the same time, accompanied me on my walk home this afternoon.  In the midst of my turning wheel of the less important, the Lord dropped this chorus into my heart and soul.

"...I can’t deny; You're way too evident.
I can’t ignore Your presence in this place.
Your grace is overwhelming, 
And I cannot hide all this love inside.
I can’t deny; I can’t deny."
("I Can't Deny" by 33 Miles)

Here are the people with whom I came into close contact today:
The bus driver who re-opened his door for me.
The owner of the bread shop near my work.
The family I work with, including the two kids who occupy most of my mornings.
The newly acquainted waitress at a café close to the church.
The two women sitting across from me during English class.
The girl at the fruterίa on my way home.
The one who appears inconvenienced by my presence in the store.  
The people with whom I work.
The people with whom I live.

What is it that all of these people, no matter the age, ethnicity, language abilities, etc., have in common?  Every one is made in the image of God.

In a lot of ways this has come up in many conversations as of late, and it has been on my heart today.  How is it that I interact with people on a daily basis?  How about in those moments where I am tired, frustrated, sad, lonely?  In fact, how do I view myself?

Genesis 1:27 says, "So God created man in His own image,
                 in the image of God He created him;
                 male and female He created them."

There is debate about what the implications of this verse are, but I believe that this can also be applied without having it all figured out.  Humans are created in the image of God; in fact they are the only creation that can claim this.  God created us after Himself, and there is much awe to be found in that truth.  Humans are to be treated with a manner of respect, as well as the love and the grace with which the Father loves each and every one of us.  We are to look out for the interests of others (Philippians 2:4).

When I look into the eyes of any of these people, regardless of the way I'm feeling, they have value.  I am to see them as God sees them, and it seems like a worthwhile prayer to ask God to help me see Jesus in each of them.  Also in this I can be reminded of my value because I'm made in the image of God and of my worth as a child of God because of Jesus.  

My motivation to love is because God first loved me (1 John 4:19).  He loved me when I was a sinner...who hated Him...unworthy of even His glance (Romans 5:8).  What I deserved was death, but instead He graciously gave me life (Romans 6:23).  He continues to offer forgiveness again and again, despite the pain of my sin (Daniel 9:9).  He pursues me and calls me home, casting my sin as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). 

Because of the great debt from which I've been released, I am freed to forgive much.  I don't want to buy into the "vengeance is mine" and "I have the right" attitudes.  I don't have a right to treat someone badly.  I don't have the right to kill someone in my heart.  I don't have the right to withhold forgiveness.  In the end, I just don't have the right.  

Don't get me wrong; I do my fair share of these things, even believing that I have these rights.  The reality though is that, in fact, I don't.  

I have "the right" to act out of "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23).  Believers are called to a higher calling.

"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:1-3).

If we are going to live up to this, and if we are going to see others and ourselves as bearing the image of God, we need Jesus.  We need Him to enlighten our eyes to see, our minds to know, and our hearts to believe.  May we call upon the Lord for His eyes, at the price of offering up our own.     

A Walk Along the Coast

Crashing waves.  Lightning flashes.  Roaring thunder.

  

This morning and afternoon were filled with the beauty of the Lord's creation, unabashed and glorifying.  There is something about the beach that my spirit really connects with, or perhaps several.  

As I walked along the shore, the sand under my feet, the water spanning towards the coast of Africa, my heart was being refreshed...one beckoning wave at a time.  

I have many fond memories of my family being at the beach.  One of our favorite past-times at Fernandina Beach is the endless hours of gazing into the freshly dampened sand for shark teeth, both big and small.  I remember one specific day the tide and looking spot were perfect - a little cove was formed in the midst of the sand that was refilled with the little treasures every new wave.  My mom, sister, and I spent hours on end, bent over, in that one tiny spot.  

One other vivid memory came to mind.  During the midst of one family trip, my dad pulled the car over to a lake area where our family crawled over giant rocks searching for treasures that came as shells and unique rocks.  Needless to say rocks, seashells, and shark teeth have formed a special place  inside of my heart.

Walking along the coastline today I found beach glass, in reality being mostly beer bottles left on the shore, but having been broken and tumbled by the tide until smooth among every edge.  My mom's favorite is the minty-green colored pieces that look like old Coca-Cola bottles, which were in abundance today.  

These past few days in Tarifa, watching some kiddos with Becca, has done wonders to my heart.  The Lord knows that we need time away, to pull out of normal life, and let Him speak and work. 

Between enjoying the joy and laughter of the kids, being able to lay in bed for awhile in the morning, times of sweet worship where the Lord was so present, our big group hike along the coastline this morning, a Tex-Mex lunch, and an afternoon thunderstorm, I'm reminded even more of the Lord's blessing in my life and His constant affection.  

Finally I was reminded of one of my more emotional moments before heading over the Atlantic, having to do with a thunderstorm.  I was sitting on the long-used carpet floor of my college apartment, working on some sort of paperwork, when one of those typical Missouri storms rumbled through.  I remember crying as I thought about how Spain didn't have those.  

Of course that's kinda silly, but it was a culmination and also exhale of some of the emotions I was feeling.  Who but God would've known the irony that I would be on the Mediterranean and hear a "real" thunderstorm today? 

As the Lord let me experience the beauty and awe of His creation today, "This Is My Father's World" came to mind.  Here is a video that I hope can help you enter in as well to the greatness of our God.    

How Great is Our God

The Lord has reminded me this week that He is worthy of our praise, no matter what are circumstances or how we are feeling.

He is love.  He is just.  He is good.  He is holy.  He is God.

The Psalms are filled with references to the Lord's character.  They are also filled with the acknowledgement of human frailty.  Amidst these two vast opposites we see the call to worship.

David had to run for fear of his life and leave everything he knew, in light of a future hope that the promise of being king would indeed come true.  He wrote Psalm 63 during his stay in the wilderness, no doubt dealing with this issue of faith.

This psalm is a cry of longing for the Lord that I can only pray to experience - a realization that the Lord is the only one who can truly satisfy, protect, bring hope.

Verses three and four say, "Because Your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise You.  So I will bless You as long as I live; in Your name I will lift up my hands."

Tonight at church I was reminded of the glory of the Lord due His name.  Maybe it was a rainy week, and maybe I didn't exactly feel the joy of His presence when I went to enter in.  You know what though?

He was there.  He is faithful and allows us to connect with Him by meeting us where we are.

The Lord was praised among the many cultures, spiritual backgrounds, ages, stories, and hearts present tonight.  He is the only way we can be unified and come before Him with our eyes toward the Savior.

And that miracle is beautiful.  

No matter where we are in a physical, spiritual, or emotional sense, may God grant us the grace to praise Him.  We have only touched the surface of the greatness of our God.

"Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise!  Give thanks to Him; bless His name!"  (Psalm 100:4)

Hidden Lives

There are many things in this picture that are countercultural to Spain.  Just to name a few:

-Eating on the street

-Wearing regular tennis shoes, as well as jeans with a flare

-Using a "hobo" bag

-Taking pictures of myself

Although I wasn't "fitting in" very well that morning, I kinda liked it.

  "For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come."  (Hebrews 13:14)

Obviously this verse is not speaking to walking through the streets and "looking like an outsider," but in reality that's my life.  The blond hair, blue eyes don't exactly give me the appearance of a Spaniard. Often physical realities can remind us of spiritual truths.

I am not of this world.  

I so often try to be.  I seek to fit in, to be accepted, to not be the weird one.  I pursue comfort.  

The next verse in Hebrews gives us a different perspective, in light of the fact that we do not belong here:   "Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name."  (Hebrews 13:15)

Because our identity, strength, and even home are in a different place, we can be bold for the sake of Christ. It may seem like we have a lot to lose, but in reality, there is so much to gain.  

Jesus gave up everything, even to the point of death.  

What will our lives of sacrifice look like today?  Acknowledging our faith in Christ?

Looking foolish?  Appearing like we don't have it all together?  Losing sleep?  Risking rejection?  

These can all be steps of faith, along with more than I can begin to list.  God calls each of us to something different, each day.  May we be in step with the Spirit and remember...

OUR LIVES ARE HIDDEN ON HIGH.

Answered Prayer of Communion

Last Friday I came down with a cold, and unfortunately I am not very good at being sick.  Lol.  It's more or less the same line of thoughts I have when I have to run on a treadmill or do yoga..."Just a little longer; ignore everything else"...the feeling that I'm not going to make it.  Ha

Usually when I'm sick, I have no desire to do anything, let alone open up my Bible.  That's definitely a struggle of mine.  It's hard enough for me (in my strength) to get in the Word on normal days, let alone when I feel miserable.  

Friday and Saturday fit the earlier description, but an amazing thing happened the days following: the Lord answered prayer and gave me the grace to not only be in His Word, but more consistently even, while I still had my cold.

He wants us to ask Him for more desire, and I believe He wants to give it to us.  And He does.

As I seek to pursue Jesus through this "habit" of daily Bible-reading, I need to remember that I can't do it on my own.  Even when I create a system, or accomplish what I'm going after, I can't change my heart or create longings for Him.

May my cry be one of dependency, because that is going to be when I can truly live by the Spirit.  I want to have a relationship with the Lord that involves a constant communion by the Spirit, through the Son, with the Father.

May my fight for independence and control be left at the feet of Jesus, making the way for a life of dependence on the One who has the whole world in His hands.

Chicken Tortilla Soup

I learned a very important lesson this afternoon: DO NOT CUT JALAPEÑO PEPPERS WITHOUT HAND PROTECTION.  I realize that the capital letter and bold typing may seem a little extreme, but believe me, the pain says differently.  

This afternoon I made my second round of Chicken Tortilla Soup.  Although I stole a few things from other recipes, the base recipe is Pioneer Woman's (you can find it at http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2011/01/chicken-tortilla-soup/).  

Pioneer Woman comes highly recommended by Becca and Hannah; although this is the only recipe I've given a shot at thus far, I would third that.  

Anyway...since Spain doesn't have all of the same accessibility to certain ingredients, as in the US, I improvised with Fajita seasoning mix, diced tomatoes, and a small jalapeño pepper.  I also added some frozen corn and lime juice, as well as doubled the recipe.  

I love the soup!!!  It's difficult to find things with spice here is Spain, so it's a little Mexican food touch (and family favorite too) brought to my apartment here.

The downside is that I didn't ask my Mexican roommate about the secret of jalapeños before making the soup.  Shortly after cutting the tiny red pepper, the top joints of all of my fingers were on fire!!!!  For several hours, even after holding cold glasses, taking an Advil, and soaking/washing with baking soda - the burning sensation continued.  Thankfully my fingers are almost back to normality.  

So, moral of the story is this: the soup is great...but wear gloves (or at least "Protect the hands!" as my mom would say) when cutting the little ball of fire.  

The Miracle of Heart Change: Found in Service

“What, then, is service? Serving is putting the needs of others ahead of our own, or putting the needs of the community ahead of our individual needs. And the Bible says there are several reasons to do this. The first benefit is self-knowledge. Don’t think you know your real gifts and capacities until you do a lot of humble serving in many different capacities around the church. Only as you do that will you come to understand your own aptitudes.

The second benefit is community. When you approach the church as a consumer (that is, only to get your needs met), you are in a solitary mode of being, but when you reject the consumer mindset, serving will draw you out of yourself and into relationships.

The third benefit is the fulfillment and joy of seeing others touched through you, or seeing something great happen through the part you play in the body of Christ. Paradoxically, if you serve primarily for the benefits to yourself, then it isn’t really serving, and you won’t receive the benefits. The only workable dynamic for every-member ministry is Mark 10:45.  [“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”]  Because Jesus served you in such a radical way, you have a joyful need to serve. It’s a form of praise that doesn’t fully enjoy what it admires until it expresses itself in service.” (emphasis mine)

These previous words by Tim Keller seem to strike a chord of what the Lord has been doing in my heart the past couple of weeks, although I can’t fully explain it.  What I do know is there is a joy to be found in serving.  It seems he draws a neat connection between Jesus’ service to us as a motivation for us to serve.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Every time I serve, I am not always focused on Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice for me, although it would be great if my mind went there more consistently.  Because Jesus did die for us, is constantly interceding for us, and is one of perfect service, we have more than sufficient reason to reach out and serve.  Even beyond that, He commands us to (1 Peter 4:10-11). 

Christians don’t only give when serving from the heart in love; they also receive.  There is a reserve of joy that can well up when loving others.  I think this is true because in those moments, albeit sometimes rare, we can love as we have been loved – we become more one with God, more reflective of Christ, more led by the Spirit.  When we can let go of ourselves, we are more like Jesus (Philippians 2:1-4). 

I don’t believe it’s possible to do this on our own, but God delights in loving through us, as well as loving us.  Our prayer can be that of John the Baptist: “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30).  May we come to reflect more the perfect Son of God.    

My theory is this: if in our sadness, loneliness, discontentment, or complacency we can serve…the Lord can work a miracle in our hearts.  He can turn our sadness to joy, our loneliness to relationship, our discontentment to contentment, and our complacency to passion.  He wants His love to flow in and out of our hearts, and one way He accomplishes this is by serving. 

So here is my challenge to you.  If you are having a hard time, look for opportunities to serve in love.  Then, as the Lord transforms your heart and emotions, be a beacon of that change.  Instead of hiding it, share it!  Be the beautiful mess that you are – sharing the good and the bad – because He is made perfect in our weakness.  He looks good when we share how He has saved, is saving, and will save us. 

God is a God of joy who wants to put a new song in our mouth, including knowledge of His sufficiency in our need and His deep love for us that never ends. 

May Jesus, and Jesus alone, be our song.    

(This is a great psalm of praise to the Lord - one of my favorites to loudly sing!!!)